Absanth
by Ageis
Summary: a redwall spoof i have been working on for the past month and think is good


Absanth walked through the woods she called home as she walked the birds singing sweetly, and the bees buzzing, she recalled her family left to die on that mountain side. She had vowed to get revenge upon Scarbakk warlord of the isle. As she walked a pile of leaves crunched beneath her feet, suddenly she shot up in the air dangling from a rope. The two rats Scabbutt and Freclaw saw Absanth dangling from their little trap, laughing they burst out of there hiding place the casually sauntered over and drew their rusty cutlass' "Well well, look what we have here." Scabbutt said spittle flying from his muzzle, his breath was appalling and spittle drenched Absanths face and neck, "You are the scum of the earth I will kill you slowly!" Remarked Absanth with all the venom of a cobra. "Now that's no way to talk to your captures." Freclaw spat a green sphere impacted inches away from her swaying forehead. As she dangled there Crizius, a bank vole watched the rats eagerly expecting a free meal but he would not get to eat the rats captive because his life ended with a black hafted crossbow bolt to the back of his neck. The bolt belonged to a short squirrel who happened to be following Absanth and would set her free, he crouched concealed by the foliage of the birch tree he sat in. As he aimed his loaded crossbow at the two sea rats he saw something that he thought would or could happen he saw Absanth grab the two rats and using her brute strength smash their skulls together, as the rats fell to the floor dazed the squirrel dropped to the ground and with a swift cut from his keen dagger sliced the rope in two. "What's your name?" Absanth asked

"They call me Firos whom do I have the pleasure of talking to?"

"I'm Absanth of the Isle of Mist"

"Well Absanth follow me for rest and a hot meal." At this Absanth couldn't keep control of herself, she and Firos walked into a small clearing where sun filtered through the parted boughs and you could see little motes of dust spiralling down in waves. They approached a burnt out tree its limbs hung out like a coat stand,

"Why are we here?" Absanth asked her voice in awe of the place they stood in

"Welcome my friend to the tunnels of Kittiwake!" Firos reached out and touched the worn wood of the white hornbeam and as if someone was expecting them a door opened in the wood, inside were a set of steps carved into the wood work, Absanth walked down them she peered at all the tapestries and lush hangings that decorated the walls of the subterranean cavern. As they descended the warm face of a badger greeted them

"Welcome to the tunnels of Kittiwake, where you will always find a home and food."

"Hey Kuma this is Absanth." Firos remarked dryly

"Greetings Absanth, dinner is just about to start please take a seat."

"Thank you Kuma" Absanth replied she did a small curtsy in front of the hulk of a beast, Kuma chuckled and walked into an elaborately decked room where she sat in a worn out leather chair. The food was born in by two very sweaty squirrels who sat the platter upon a squeaky trolley and began to cart the steamed trout around the hall, as they did so Kuma introduced them,

"The two squirrel cooks are Flotsam and Jetsam brothers from the far glades of the north." As they made there way around the tables Absanth noted the way in which the beasts reacted to the two cooks, some took there food and ate like merciless animals but others like Kuma sat and savoured the flavour of each thing that she put onto her plate, as the cooks bustled off back to the kitchens to prepare the dessert a general hubbub broke out tankards of various ciders, wines, rums and juices for the little ones were steadily circling the room and when empty were almost immediately refilled by the kindly cellar mole Jacob. After the veritable feast the many beasts left many with babes snoring gently in their arms. Later that evening when the old ones insisted that Absanth tell them her story and why she had come here to the subterranean world, she said simply

"I was trapped and Firos brought me here." To this the old ones couldn't say anything, as they knew that Firos was a kind hearted soul who if necessary save innocent beasts. Later that night Absanth and Kuma sat in one of the vast caverns drinking warm cider and reciting old tales and brain teasers when out of the blue Firos stole in and in a hushed voice said

"Come quick, there's something you have to see." Bypassing the sentries they stole out of the gate and disappeared into the forest, crouching in the undergrowth they sat and watched the sea rats and weasels torturing a poor young dormouse by the name of Brandi.

"Now tell us mouse where did they disappear to?"

"I don't know what you are talking about please let me go!" she pleaded

"We have to do something quick!" Absanth whispered

"Right you are," and with that the three companions burst from the undergrowth shouting the combined battle cry.

"Agrrrh!" With that what had been the torturers ran tails between their legs white with fear. With a quick slash of Firos' dagger Brandi was set free thanking the trio she vanished into the woods from whence she'd came.

"Well that was odd?" Absanth said her voice far away

"Yer sure was." Firos said scratching his head in bewilderment. As they returned to Kittiwake there was the definite air of suspicion amongst some of the residents of the subterranean house, as they descended the steps once more Absanth's mind began to work overdrive she wondered who Brandi was and why she was being tortured by the sea rats and weasels and what she had done to deserve this sort of punishment.


End file.
